Supah Hawt Lifeguard
by CreepySheepy
Summary: Alfred F. Jones is the supah hawt lifeguard down at the beach. You and your friend both think he is "supah hawt". Reader x America Rated M for the soon to be coming sequel.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is written by Feli and Luddy (HetaliaDerp). We're bored, half asleep, watching TV, and texting Lilli. Not to mention we've been at the beach all day, and we're going for ice cream later. And I'm typing across Feli's stomach. But that didn't work very well. **

**Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia, or the characters. **

**P.S. We're watching The Amazing World of Gumball, and being distracted. Extremely distracted. We can't comprehend what's happening on this show. Seriously. Okay, let's get on with the story.**

**WARNING: This fic is made up of crack. This is based off of a true story. Also, all misspellings are on purpose because of the way we will forever tell this story. (Trust me, it pains me to type my half of this. I'm sure Feli will be absolutely fine typing her half.) Brace yourselves; this is going to be one helluva ride. Allons-y!**

**There is no particular pairing, but it's you (the viewer), your friend, and America, aka Alfred F. Jones. Enjoy this fagulous (not really) story.**

It was a normal day at the beach. You and your best friend were busy ogling the lifeguard perched upon his lifeguard tower. Both of you agreed that he was supah hawt. He was so supah hawt that he deserved a reward. While you and your friend babbled on about this supah hawt lifeguard, your mummy was listening. Oh, she was listening, alright, and she had a plan.

"He's, like, so amazingly hawt," You cooed.

"Supah hawt," Your friend agreed.

The two of you went on like this for quite some time. The lifeguard stayed his stunning self, right down to his dirty-blonde hair with the gravity-defying cowlick, to his glasses that were slipping from the bridge of his nose, and to his piercing sapphire eyes that twinkled in the sunlight. Your ovaries exploded at the mere sight of his hawtness. That is, if you had ovaries. You could be a 14 year-old boy trying to fap to some Minecraft, and whatnot.

Anyway, your mum decided that she'd please you by asking this supah hawt lifeguard to do a favor for her. She approached the tower, and looked up at the lifeguard.

"Hi, Mr. Lifeguard, sir. My daughter and her friend have been talking about how supah hawt you are for the past half hour. Could you please just lie down next to her on her towel so I can take a picture?"

The supah hawt lifeguard smiled a dazzling smile. "Sure, I'd love to!"

Your mother led him to their area they set up. You were lying down on your towel on your stomach with your head in your arms. Your eyes were closed and so you didn't see the supah hawt lifeguard lie down next to you.

"(Insert your sexy name here), look at me!" Your mum said, getting her camera ready. When you lifted your head, the supah hawt lifeguard put his arm around you and smiled as the camera flashed. You stared at the camera, dumbfounded. Had your mum really just done that to you?

"Great picture! Thanks, Alfred," Your mum said.

"No problem," he replied happily. Before standing, Alfred, the supah hawt lifeguard, kissed you on the cheek. He then left you, your mouth hanging open in a complete wimaot fashion. "See ya later, (insert your sexy name here)," Alfred chuckled.

Oh.

Oh.

You hoped and prayed you'd see him later.

In fact, you'd make sure you'd see him later.

"Wait!" You called in a voice that was higher than usual. Alfred spun around. The sight of this caused your newly repaired ovaries to explode once more.

"What is it?" Alfred asked.

"Can I… Er… Can I have your number?" You squeaked.

"Of course you can!" He walked back towards you with a grin plastered on his face. Your mum produced a piece of paper and pen, and handed it to the supah hawt lifeguard. He scribbled his name, number, and address on it before handing it back to you. You smiled, and returned the favor to him.

**A/N: Hope you liked that mess…**

**Um yeah the word wimaot… its like an inside joke between HetaliaDerp and myself. so just go along with it, okay? Good.**

**Okay I think that's it… oh and we may do a sequel. Not sure yet. Alright, I think that's it, unless Darkz wants to add something else. Oh and up until the mother took the picture all after that is not real. It didn't happen. **

**Thanks for reading! It was fun to write on vacation, for we were bored. Really bored. By the way, it's rated M to be safe. –cough-sequel-cough- Welp, that's it. The sequel will most likely be short. Maybe shorter than this. Okay, buh-bye.**

**-Darkz (Luddy) and Feli**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Helloooooo. Luddy and Feli here! We decided to type the sequel today while waiting to go to the beach. So, yeah. This is the chapter that lives up to the rating. Beware: Smuttiness ahead. (Not really.) We're going to listen to music while writing, 'cause we're weird like that. Enjoy~**

**Disclaimer: We don't Hetalia or the characters used or mentioned in this. Except for you. We own you. ;D Hehe. Once more, enjoy.**

10 YEARS LATER~

You were invited to Alfred's house for dinner, and you decided to wear a supah sexy outfit. You pulled up to his house and knocked on the door. He opened it and smiled one of his gorgeous smiles. He pulled you in by your waist and slammed the door shut. He kissed you passionately. You wrapped your arms around his neck to deepen this kiss. He hoisted your legs around his waist and pushed you against a wall.

You smirked into the kiss and started playing with his hair. He backed away from the wall, holding your legs. He started walking to his bedroom, still kissing you. You felt him throw you on his bed and smirked.

Alfred placed a small, chaste kiss on your lips to tease you. You grabbed him by his shirt, and tugged him down. Your lips collided with his, and you heard him moan against your mouth. He pulled off his buttoned shirt, releasing the kiss to do so. You took in his muscular chest and blushed. He leaned in to kiss you again, his hands moving to your top. You started to work your way out of it, still trying your best to keep kissing him. Eventually, Alfred pulled back, enabling you to finish taking your top off. You reached up, grabbed Alfred by the hem of his pants, and brought him crashing down on you.

He smirked, amused from your need for dominance. He began playing with your pants button, driving you mad. You put your hands on his and used them to unbutton your pants. You shook them off, and he did the same with his. Now the two of you were both left in your underwear. They weren't there for long, however. Let's just say, things escalated after the loss of clothes. Things escalated rather quickly.

You had to admit, he looked supah sexy after your hot, kinky, cheeseburger sex. Your favorite part had to be when Alfred's brother walked in. Poor Mattie, he looked so very flustered. He had backed out, his hands over his eyes. He was also screaming like an 8 year-old girl. A girl with pigtails. Ahh, good times. You went on to have this sort of sex quite often. Eventually, you got married, had kids, and grew old with your supah hawt lifeguard.

**A/N: You like it? Yes? YAY! Heheheehehhe this is Feli writing this right now. Luddy will come in and say stuff after maybe. I don't really know. Okay so if you liked it please review! Grazie~ and now a few words from Luddy.**

**Oi! Luddy here. We really had no idea where this was going when we started typing it. By the way, the song Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off came on while in the middle of typing this. Oh, yes. It was hilarious. Well, just to inform you all, this is rated M to be safe. It has implied sex, so that's why. Bye!**


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